My spirit is being called to show up here today. I’ve decided to follow its lead because apparently I have something to say that someone needs to hear. Hopefully I don’t ramble too much and make you miss the message lol. Today’s write up, you guessed it, is going to be a venting of sorts. I have some stuff I need to get off my chest. I have some sentiments to express. I have some shit to talk and I have some new ideas and healing to talk through…. So without further ado, let’s get into it ya!
How rude of me…. Hello Beautiful People *blows kiss* So glad you all could join me again!
There will be no order to this chaos and no method to my madness lol. I just want to openly chat today. I’d love for you all to engage and we just carry this conversation on together. Got it? Cool. Why are people so weird? Like seriously lol. I thought delusion was at an all time high but Chile, Weirdness!? The levels are astounding. I think the most baffling part about this whole concept is that most of the folks that are the weirdest, don’t even realize how less than they’re being. So many random little weird encounters have pushed me to the point of my circle literally being smaller than a cheerio lmao. Like I honestly cannot compute the concept of being a completely different person in every room I’m in. Or the concept of putting intentionality behind malice moves and smiling in the face of the person you’re trying to fxxk over smh. It’s really always the audacity for me. It’s all very exhausting. I’m currently in the process of clearing my space of all the weirdos that have attached themselves to me in the form of one-sided relationships or what I like to call “favorships.” If the relationship is completely transactional, you can keep it unless we’re doing business. I do a lot of hanging onto history and honestly, that ends NOW. I love me too much to be setting myself up like that when I know folks are gone always be who they are. A lot of people don’t know who they are lol, but that’s a convo for another day. This is your call to action, IF ALL YALL HAVE IS HISTORY, IT’S TIME TO LET THAT THANG GO! Anywaydoe, moving right along….
I talk to myself a lot on social media. Like a lot a lot. Like if they didn’t show you how many people followed me, you’d probably think I had like 40 followers. No cap. And that’s honestly pushing it lol. My followers on every social network, from Tumblr to TikTok, ignore me with the strength of a million ancestors lol. They watch my stories and view my posts and show no love. There is a consistent group of like 30 people who watch my IG stories religiously but won’t ever answer a question or do a survey or share anything lol. It’s honestly kind of creepy. The concept of people consuming my crafts and work and my energy and receiving absolutely nothing in return is not a vibe to me. Even when I ask simple no brainer stuff like ‘What yall listening to today?’ CRICKETS! If yall don’t like me just say that lol. Because showing up in my space everyday as a ghost follower is not giving. Like at all. And don’t even get me started on the folks that show up just to steal and copy. I see ya baby lol. And honestly you could never. But proceed lol. Social Media is definitely to blame for a lot of the goofy energy folks be trying to pass off as real but…. I digress. Next stop…..
Being a better person isn’t goals anymore huh? Too much self care for the gram and not enough self work for the betterment of this human experience. We talk a good game on the internet but are our actions backing that up. I’ve been working on myself for quite some time now. I mean honestly, it never stops. We can always be or do better. But I think a lot of folks have actually traded in doing the work for simply just looking like they’re doing it. I carried 3 books around with me for a year and a half and never cracked them open not once. But you know what I did? I took cute little aesthetic photos and posted them on IG talking about how I was going to read them and how excited I was lol. Goofy. I literally finally cracked one open in January of this year and read it in a week. Why tf did I put it off for that long? Focused on the wrong things. I’m learning to carve out time in my ‘busy schedule’ to actually do things that matter like meditate, read my Bible and pray, read more books, spend more time tech free and a host of other things. I bet if you take a moment and think back, you’ll remember something you use to do that always brought you joy and you’ll realize you no longer do it. You’ve probably replaced it with either work, hustle or the internet lol. It’s astounding how much time we spend on these phones and laptops. And we honestly need to spend more time on the grass, under the sun, in prayer, in the gym or honestly, in complete silence. Do me a favor and schedule at least one 10-min tech free session in the next few days. Say what up to clarity for me.
Vulnerability in relationships is veryyyyyy important to me. I am only interested in deep connections with people who want to do life together. I love too hard and too deep to ever again tether myself to a friendship/relationship that isn’t serving me on an intimate level. And I know a lot of people hear the word ‘intimate’ and automatically assume ’romantic relationship,’ but in reality, intimacy applies to ALL relationships. I want to challenge myself, and others, to just go deeper. As we operate in a social media/ internet driven world, we are reminded to keep everything close to the vest and out of sight so folks don’t see your weaknesses or learn your business and try to use it against you. We’ve carried this habit into real life and began connecting with people this way in the real world. I definitely use to operate like this and never saw anything wrong with keeping it surface level. But as I’ve grown up, I’ve learned that my spirit yearns for a deeper connectedness to the people I plan on doing life with. That goes for significant others and friends. I’ve had so many relationships where I was left wondering why people didn’t feel comfortable confiding in me or including me or even just fully being themselves around me. I don’t receive that energy any longer. I want everyone around me to show up fully and be comfortable. I’m no longer interested in half doing my connections. We all in or we associates lol. That’s just how it is for me. If you love me, that shouldn’t be too much to ask for. Show up open and/or whole or stay from ’round this way lol.
A few last words, in bullet form:
Sincere apologies to anyone I’ve ever hurt, wronged, disrespected, offended, etc. Though many never put the cards on the table, streets talk. I pray there’s no one holding things from my past lives against me out there lol. I’m a better being now, spin the block lmao!
Say what you mean and mean what you say
Drink more water
Write your friends love letters
Prayer is the most powerful tool in my Baddie Tool Box
Just because it didn’t work out romantically, doesn’t mean you all can’t be friends
Please get some sun and fresh air daily
If you feel like no one will understand, I’m always here to listen regardless
Tell someone you love them
Feelings are not facts
Everyone is not your friend
You can literally do whatever you put your mind to
Share your story, your tribe is out there
Until we meet again my beautiful beings! Remember, drink your water, take a tech break every now and then, and practice getting below the surface. You’ll find some pretty amazing things down in the depths!
Also, comment section is down below! Scroll to the bottom and sound off! I’d love to hear your input on the topics at hand!
Peace, Love & Light,