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You’re Intimidated. I’m Not Intimidating….

Who knew I’d be back so soon lol. Y’all know every time I go outside I have to bring back the tea on my interactions. Greetings my lovely tribe. Shoutout to y’all. I love y’all. Today we’re going to talk about how you can be labeled ‘intimidating’ for simply existing lol. Let me start, of course, by defining ‘Intimidating’—

According to

intimidating /inˈtimidādiNG/ adjective

  1. having a frightening, overawing, or threatening effect. "the intimidating defense attorney"

I am a beautiful woman. A bad b*tch, if you will. (Word to Risqkae lol) I stand a strong 5’9ish, weigh more than the doctor suggests and have had hips since I was knee-high to a grasshopper lol. I would consider myself quiet and reserved, unless I’m engaging with someone. I’m cool af once you get to know me. You can definitely feel my presence and my energy when I walk into a room. I am very secure in my abilities. I am in constant study of myself and my being. I am clear on my power, goals, source and plan. I am a leader. I am a blueprint. I am a vessel. I am a child of God. (Come on Affirmationssssss) Pour all of this in a bowl and stir it up, BOOM, here I am. Loved and embraced by MANYYYYYYY. Disliked and ignored by quite a few. The game is the game and I ain’t for everybody.

I was recently having a discussion with my BF and we were of course debriefing after attending an event in the city. We discussed my interactions with the different women in the space and also the lack there of. I was expressing how I felt like people were staring at me and I was like “I wonder why women find it so hard to acknowledge me.” In Detroit, everyone has this celebrity mentality. Folks feel like people should flock to them and speak to them first and if you don‘t then we just won’t talk. I personally think that‘s weird as hell lol. I pretty much just speak if I see you and I know you or know your face. I tend to speak if I don’t know you also because duh, acknowledgement of your existence. There‘s also this weird thing that takes place where you could talk to someone online all the time, support them digitally and even pop out every now and then, and they’ll still act like they don‘t know you lol. It’s honestly laughable. But let me get back to my point…..

My mother told me the other day, people could be intimidated by me because of the fact that I do all the things I say I’m going to do and even when I’m down or on my knuckles, I‘m still good and giving love to others. I can definitely say that every since I started doing exactly WTF I said I was going to do, people started acting weird. It was nothing to see Rae’ out somewhere and speak like “Oh hey girl,” back when it looked and felt like I was just trying to figure things out. I guess it’s starting to look like I might know a little something and let me tell you, the girlies don’t know what to do with themselves. (Do men have these problems? I need some male perspective on this type of behavior) And it’s funny because I feel like women’s avoidance of me is a fear tactic. Hints the title. I don’t bite doe lol.

I am not intimidating. You’re intimidated. There’s a difference. At any given moment, at any event or place you catch me in out in the city, I’m probably already high and on cruise control lol. I usually pregame before big public events to knock the edge off. (Judge ya motha lol) Therefore, I can relax and get ready to interact. I’m actually a really nice person, ask anyone that knows. So when I step into rooms, I’m ready to speak to familiar faces, show some love and have a great time. I feel like the people who may be intimidated by me haven’t taken the chance to even meet me. We fear what we don’t know lol. But I’m pretty much always open if I’m out in public so you can definitely say hello. AND I’M GONE BE THE SAME TYPE OF CHICK IN EVERY ENVIRONMENT. MY DAMN SELF. NO FAKE. NO FACADE. JUST RAE. EVERY. TIME. I don’t switch up based on who I‘m around. Better energy may bring more out of me but as far as I’m concerned, I’m solid. Some of y’all got a lot of different characters lol.

So what’s this point in all of this right? Never let the reactions of others dictate who you are. I could easily morph into whatever would get me more love and get me accepted into the ‘inner circles.’ Easily. I could easily try to cut and delete the parts of me that breed intimidation in women and men alike. I could. But that wouldn’t be me. I prefer to be around people who allow me to show up whole. I don’t want to leave pieces of myself at home because some folks feel a ways. I want to be able to be myself in every space I enter because if I can‘t then I don‘t feel safe. I have a superpower of making folks feel comfortable enough to be able to be 100% themselves. Some folks never get close enough to experience it. I’ve contemplated, on numerous occasions, about how I could make people receive me with open arms like they do other people. I’ve watched my ‘friends’ be completely different and more open with others than they’d ever been with me. Through it all, I have chosen to stand on who I am. To show up as me, every time. And I want you all to choose yourselves too.

Life is short and time is fleeting. Be who you are and live life with no regrets. If the people are intimidated by your being, that sounds like a ’them problem,’ not a ‘you problem.’ Never let what you heard about someone dictate your interactions with them. Be open enough to experience people for yourself. Never stop growing and embrace the change. Know that who you are is enough. No matter if folks acknowledge it or not.

And please know— if you see me out and you do everything in your power to avoid all contact with me, instead of just saying ‘Hi’ and keeping it moving…. Please keep that same foolish energy from here on out. Thank you.

As always, your comments and opinions are valued and ALWAYS WELCOMED! Scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page to comment. Here’s my question for y’all this time— Have you ever been labeled ‘Intimidating,’ and if so, did it have any influence on how you show up now?

Until Next Time,

Peace, Love & Light,


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To answer your question yes, I get it all the time at work. Oh you need to change this or that because people can't or won't be able to take it. And no, I don't do what they say. It's either you are going to listen or not. Ive always say I'm not put on this earth for you to like, I'm here for God's purpose. Get with it or get left.

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