You know, sometimes I just sit and wonder, how in the world did I end up here? I went from rolling out of bed whenever my body felt like it and making my own schedule to waking up at 7am and working literally every single day, Sunday to Sunday. Remember when I said I was applying for jobs? Well guess what? I have 2 part time jobs now. That makes a total of 5 jobs and 3 active streams of income and let me tell you, the transition back has been a little rough. I’m not used to standing up for 5-6 hours at a time and the only alarm I consistently have set is the one for church lol. So, guess what? Life comes at you fast and you must learn how to pivot (to the best of your ability).
Now before I secured either of the new positions I was going through somewhat of a crisis. I didn’t have a stable income and I was really letting that stress me out. I ended up randomly chatting with a friend from IG (Hey @cookayemonster) because she was struggling with something similar. What she helped me realize is what a gift it is to actually be able to pivot with little to no trouble and I’ve never really looked at all the twists and turns of my life that way. So, first things first, thank you sis. And shout out to the girls that want to see other girls win. We’re all in this thing together. Anywho, I found myself having to pivot so many times in my life. I'm pretty good at going with the flow, for the most part. I use to think that all the pivoting and career/life changes I was making would basically lead me to being a jack of all trades and master of none. More recently I've been rolling that idea over in my head and I'm starting to wonder what's really wrong with that? I feel like society puts all these random pressures on us that we let dictate our decision making and career paths. Some folks, like myself, are good at a lot of different things. As time goes on, and the pivots continue to happen, I'm sure I'll master some of those things but I'm not pressed.
Anywaydoe, I was struggling internally with the fact that I was headed back to the workforce after 2 years and I felt like I was letting myself down. I felt like I didn’t do enough to make my businesses thrive. And to a certain extent, I didn’t do all that I could to make my business a success but it’s partially because I didn’t have the funding to do everything I wanted to do. And it wasn’t until I got a few new jobs that I realized that this pivot was absolutely necessary and has been the answer that I had been avoiding. I didn't want to go back to the job force. I felt like it was hustling backwards when in all actuality, it was the answer to my problem. Now, it’s not an easy task at all. Most days I’m tired and my feet hurt but I’ve never been a stranger to the hustle and grind and I know this will all pay off in the end.
I say all this to say that we shouldn’t feel ashamed about the decisions we make to ensure our futures are what we want. Sometimes you have to put your head down and work. You have to skip the parties and the family gatherings. You have to push the FOMO aside and just do your thang. We also have to be okay with slowing down and/or modifying the plans we have for ourselves. I’ve stopped rushing myself and rushing my process. I’ve stopped creating this timeline based on what my friends and peers are doing. I’ve turned a lot of my energy inward and I have to say, it’s been amazing. I spent wayyyy too much time beating myself up because I felt like I should be farther along at this point in life. I have dedicated the next 6 months to doing life at my own pace. Everyone completes the marathon at their own stride. The main thing is actually completing it. So as I sit at my desk and complete my clerical duties for this pay check, i know that one day I'll be signing checks for several employees. I'm taking it all in stride. I got this, and you do too. Just breathe!