God gave me the idea. I began the execution. And then I paused. I waited. I sat on it. I overthought it. As I always do. I can’t do anything without overthinking. I think it’s in my DNA and it completely drives me insane man. I thought I needed permission. I didn’t trust my gut. I overthought my instincts. This idea came straight from God for my financial gain and what did I do? Fumbled. And you know what happen? God got off on me to teach me a lesson. And guess what? That shit hurts. I woke up in a pretty great mood. I thanked God for another chance to get it right and I went straight into my daily studies. I did my readings and then I decided to do a little scrolling before I did my morning workout. Why? Why did I do that? I’m scrolling, minding my business and then BOOM! There it is. My idea. My gem. And she’s beautiful. And I’m heart broken. God gave me this idea and I sat on it until he blatantly gave it to someone else who was going to put it into action. And sis really put it together. I. AM. PISSED! And not because someone else did what I was planning to do. But because I fumbled. I slept on it. I sat on it. And I missed out.
I’m mad at myself for not believing in myself. For not trusting my gut and believing in my ideas. Sometimes I don’t believe in my powers and I have to learn the hard way. And this was a HARD lesson. I was on fire. I wanted to punch something. It hurtsssssss SO BAD! Because I knew this idea was fire and I played myself. When we second guess ourselves and gifts, it’s like a slap in the face to God. God created me. I am young, black and GIFTED. And when I second guess myself, I’m second guessing every gift he distinctively placed within me. We’ve all been there. You have an idea or plan and then that little voice in your head starts talking mess and you lose it. Now don’t get me wrong. This isn’t the first time I’ve fumbled. But this definitely is the first time God gave my idea to someone else and also placed the finished product right in front of me. This, my friend, is a friendly reminder to put action behind EVERY idea. Don’t overthink it and don’t sit on it because at the end of the day, you’ll feel better “failing” and learning your lesson than you’ll feel fumbling and watching someone else shine off of your idea. I know you’ve heard this before, if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. Listen, I know from experience lol. Tap in, Max out and put the work in. I’ve learned my lesson. No more dragging my feet. Writing the ideas on paper with no action behind it is worthless. Take the risk and jump. Find your wings on the way down chief. This life is yours to create.