Anywaydoe, this post is based on a conversation I had with my boyfriend. I basically came to the realization that I lost myself.
There was a time when I went to all the local music showcases. I was a regular and I loved it. I loved surrounding myself with all things creative. That was my thing. I transitioned from that to actually working in the local scene. Some where along the lines I lost myself and ended up on the outside looking in struggling to get back to what made me get started….That moment when you realize you need to go harder for what you want #RaeseTheBar #LevelUp
I really don’t do much of anything anymore. I’m either working, at home or with my boyfriend. I don’t hit any of the local showcases anymore. I haven’t been on the scene much since 2014. I’m currently blogging and doing freelance PR work. These days I don’t do much of what I “want” or what my heart desires, and I feel a ways. I’m really mad at myself for letting myself get so lost and so far removed.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone has used you up until you ran dry. Well I’ve been in plenty. Once I decided to transition from being a spectator in the game to being a player, I’ve been pouring from myself until there was nothing left. I’ve helped people build and received nothing in return but empty promises. I’ve had long conversations and planning meetings with people only to witness absolutely nothing coming from them.
What’s crazy about all of this is that I didn’t even realize it. I was completely oblivious to the fact that my #wholetHang had fallen apart. I was so busy trying to put together the pieces of everything else that fell apart that I hadn’t even realized that I had lost my “why.” It was then that I realized how much of a nasty game the music industry is. Lots of people in the game don’t even try to cultivate relationships and build, they rather just use you. And then discard you like the trash. This notion doesn’t only occur in the music industry either. A lot of people operate in this space and it’s crazy.
My point here is that we must stay focused on the things that make us happy. We must pursue our dreams with reckless abandon. We can not neglect ourselves. I know I wrote before about pouring into yourself and not being able to pour from an empty glass, but I really need people to understand that YOU COME FIRST! I’ve wasted time and energy attempting to help other people reach their dreams numerous times before. Though I feel my calling is to help others and connect people, I am still working to figure out how not to neglect my inner self.
The dream is free. The hustle is sold separately. Always dedicate time to self and to building. You’ll regret putting yourself on the back burner, I promise. I know I do. And if you happen to slip up and lose it, be a real one and learn how to bounce back.