Back like I never left. I took a break because folks get together and kick it for the holiday but now I'm back. This past weekend, I had some very... interesting encounters. (For lack of better words) These interaction left me feeling real blah and left me with quite a few questions. So this write up is basically me trying to sort through everything.
Maybe I'm not as great of a person as I thought I was. Maybe I'm fooling myself. Far too often I've let the actions of others, towards me, let me dictate how I felt about myself. Sometimes I sit and wonder what narratives people have created in their minds that make them give me such toxic energy. This past weekend, I encountered some really strange energy. Some really negative energy. So much of it that it left me thinking "Was I wrong?" "Did I do something?" "Am I really the bad person in this situation?"
Far too often I come up against situations like this. Situations that leave me baffled about how things play out. How people react to me. How my natural energy effects people. And even how relationships end up broken in the end due to clashing vibes and energy.
I am an acquired taste and I understand that. Naturally people are drawn to me. My energy and aura are very strong and I'm still learning to control it. And while people are drawn to me, this simple fact makes certain individuals absolutely dislike me. My encounters this weekend really helped me walk into the fact that I am not required to share my energy with anyone or anything that I don't want to.
But check this out, once God and the universe aligned to truly bring me to this realization, I received so much validation for this point. Not everyone will understand your position and power. Some people get a rise out of trying to shake your spirit.
What we have to do is try to block those spirits out. Sometimes your spirit and energy are too vast for the spaces you try to squeeze them into. Days when I feel small and I feel like my energy isn't being appreciated, I wear my affirmation bracelet from Swank Blue that says "Let Your Light Shine." I realize that my shine can't be stopped and that my energy is a force. Divine Feminine Energy. I had to stop undervaluing my energy and stop thinking it wasn't a powerful asset just because people didn't know how to appreciate it.
Baby girl had to take pride in the fact that no one can do Rae' like thee Rae' LaShae. And for those who choose to shun my energy.... their loss! People will love you and people will hate you, but none of that will have anything to do with you. People have their own issues and they tend to project their BS on others.
Myleik says when you ask the universe to go to the next level, don't be surprised when every person preventing progress is removed from your life. I feel like this is the stage that I'm currently in. Those that get left behind deserve that. Only the real can relate. And if my energy intimidates you, I suggest you make your exit. My sun won't be setting anytime soon!